lopster

Everything is mostly situated. I feel like shit because I took a 1 hour nap after sleeping only 2 hours today, I feel mostly accomplished though. I still have to look for a hotel but other than that, I’m good. Work actually didn’t schedule me on my requested days off.

I realized I haven’t written much in this blog lately. I guess it’s good. It’s not that anything has changed, really. I still don’t get why things are happening but I’m taking it in stride. I guess the people that are in my life, want to be in my life. Still, I’m doing something I think is just long overdue. You know that gut feeling right? Always follow it. Maybe this trip will be enlightening and something I really, really needed. One can hope. At the very least, maybe I can gain a friend back that I feel like I’ve lost even if it isn’t the case. I don’t want to dwell on the negatives though. As I’ve said before, I can’t take everything as a slight or a reason. Sometimes things just happen even if it wasn’t intended.

So yeah, I’m excited because I think it’s going to be a fun time. I just want smiles and some good fucking times. Let a nigga get that


Starting a lockout at my job.


So much to fucking do, so little time. Feel alone in all of this but you gotta do what you gotta do.


I eat so much.


ghostwriting drake 4ever

Pushing me away so I give her space
Dealing with a heart I didn’t break
I be there for you, I will care for you
I keep thinking you just don’t know
Trying to run from that, say you done with that
On your face, girl it just don’t show
When you’re ready, just say you’re ready
When all the baggage just ain’t as heavy
When the party’s over, just don’t forget me
We’ll change the pace and we’ll just go slow..
You won’t ever have to worry
You won’t ever have to hide
You’ve seen all my mistakes

So look me in my eyes


good month for music

Ango - Another City Now EP

Rustie - Glass Swords (not new but banging hard)

New Drake album leak to make me depressed all over again, haha

missing a bunch of shit, but yeah, im set for a few weeks


The idea of sex grosses me out after I cum. Our parts are so fucking disgusting looking (well, not mine, lol~) but I really wonder why physical attraction/sex is so high on peoples lists. Not saying it isn’t for me but the more I think about it, the more I just want somebody cool and to have fun around and to fuck when we’re horny. I guess I’ve always looked at it like that, though.


And on that note, I realize that sometimes I seek for validation that isn’t necessary. I always assume things. If I don’t hear it - I don’t think it’s there. My friend didn’t talk to me for about 5 days and I texted her why and she said “You were so mad at me last time we talked that I was scared to talk to you, I miss you”. I was shocked because in my head, I just think she didn’t care and never wanted to talk.

In some cases people dont give a fuck, but I need to start giving people more credit and stop assuming. You can only tell people how much you care and the rest should be validated for what they do or what they have done. I guess my “what have you done for me lately” attitude needs to stop or I’ll drive myself crazy.

Anyway, busy tomorrow again so yeah. Always cool being busy


I think the worst thing you can do is suffocate somebody in a relationship.

My friend recently just broke up with her boyfriend of two years (who was extremely jealous/didnt let her do shit). She had to save me as “nicole” in her phone. She would always pretend that her relationship was fine and she was happy but deep down she wasnt. Now I’m reading shit from her that I thought I would never see. I’m like damn, you’re gonna make nigga kill himself.. “I hope..” LOL

But yeah, I don’t get guys/girls that do that. Keep tabs on their significant other 24/7. Let them live, let them breathe and have a mind of their own. It’s one thing to care for somebody and its another to completely dominate every facet of their life.

I’m definitely not the most perfect person and I do get envious and jealous of people and their situations sometimes - it’s simple human emotion. But love/lust can be blinded by greed. You are not the only person in their life.

Sorry, this post reads like a 8th grader but I just find it weird how people so “close” can be complete strangers a day later. Be good to people in general, and be good to the special people in your life.


Okay officially going to be in Toronto from Novem 18ish-22ndish. 3 days, 4 tops.


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