At least I’m keeping my promise. Promised I would always be here. I’ve always stated thats the fucking hardest thing to do. I didn’t realize the gravity of the statement when I made it. Proud of myself for it though.
Constant useless feeling nagging in my head.
Sometimes I just need a sign. A text. Reassurance. Just the littlest things keep me going.
What the fuck do I do man? Follow whats right, right? What if its so right in my heart and my head is leading me to a fucking deathtrap. Am I stupid?
Yep. Still a punk.
"As the night slowly crept along with its blanketed moon, she took a step outside to blend in with its natural shadows - her favorite spot. She was so sunkissed that I never quite understood her penchant for the darkness, always lacking the right time to question it. She called me at 3:03 AM and on cue, I told her exactly how I felt. About her, about life. She sat there, sucking her teeth, having to be convinced as always.
Convinced of what? Everything. “Everything is never what it seems.” she always told me. I never did know what she meant by that. Deep (deep) down I thought, maybe she didn’t need to be convinced at all. She knew the truth of every single word about her that was going to come out of my mouth like a well-worn novel on her bookshelf. She slyly hid the immense reassurance and hope that it gave - that somebody else noticed it too. No matter in her head, how dirty, disgusting and wrong the mouth that it came from.
What she didn’t know was how many nights I’ve washed that mouth out with soap just to get to that moment. Now, maybe it was never so wrong. And we can go back to that statement - everything is never what it seems.”
-an excerpt from a short story i will never release v.2
I’m just tryin’ give you light, they just tryna lead you blind.
still go to bed with these stupid fucking thoughts jsidfkds
this whole week is fucking beautiful. if only it was like this year round. pool and football and bbqs yeeee
at the same time, id rather overstate anything than understate it and never take a chance or let it be known. even if understating could be more appealing and desirable.
i sort of preferred when i didnt have a private blog and kept everything well hidden in quotes and pictures and music and stuff.
i rather be minimalist, simple and secretive than overtly obvious. damnit